


The Big Scoop

by TeamGwenee



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 06:12:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14466708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamGwenee/pseuds/TeamGwenee
Summary: Jaime Lannister and Brienne are perfectly capable of planning their own life thank you!Or at least that is what they believe. Tywin Lannister; however, disagrees.





	The Big Scoop

“ _Guess who made the evening news!”_ Tyrion's voice trilled across the phone.

Jaime blinked and frowned at the clock, squinting to make out the time.

“Tyrion!” he growled, “What are you thinking, calling at this hour. It's-” he swore under his breath, eleven o'clock and he had already been asleep for an hour. Fuck, he really was turning into an old man.

“I am thinking,” Tyrion continued unfazed, “That you may be intrigued to know which Lannister has been the latest to cause a national scandal,”

“Cersei?” Jaime asked, dread blossoming in the pit of his stomach. A million different scenarios burst into his head. Cersei screaming down at her PA in public. Cersei trying to run down her ex-husband in her Mercedes. Cersei setting a pack of rabid lions onto a little girl trying to sell cookies for charity.

“Nope!” Tyrion said smugly.

“Tyrion, if you have gotten yourself arrested again and this is a plea for bail...” Jaime said threateningly.

“I haven't been arrested,” Tyrion assured him.

“Then who?” Jaime demanded.

“Haven't you guessed? It's you?”

Jaime felt his blood turn to ice. “What?” he stuttered.

“It's you, of course. What else did you expect, when you're seen draping yourself all over one of Minister Stark's most trusted staff members?”

Jaime gulped. “I...tripped?” he offered lamely.

“And landed with your lips on hers?” Tyrion asked sceptically.

“You don't think that there is a chance Father hasn't seen, do you?” Jaime said at last.

“Not a chance in hell,” Tyrion smiled, “I look forward to your funeral, dear brother,”

#

“What were you thinking Brienne?” Catelyn Stark screeched, “A Lannister!”

Brienne Tarth towered over Catelyn and was twice her width with muscle, but still she mumbled and squirmed beneath her gaze like a naughty four year old.

“I am so sorry,” she said earnestly, “I had no idea the cameraman was there. Any damage this may have caused your campaign I will see to personally,”

“It is not the campaign I am worried about,” Catelyn said sternly, “Do you really know what you are getting into, consorting with a Lannister?”

“I appreciate your concern Catelyn,” Brienne said tentatively, “But my personal life is my own business. I know Jaime, and I share none of your concerns,”

Catelyn raised an eyebrow. “And Tywin Lannister, do you know him?”

Brienne shook her head. “No,” she admitted.

“Well I have,” Catelyn said, casting her mind back to the Lannister representative that had arrived at her doorstep within an hour of the news hitting the screen, requesting a meeting with Tywin Lannister to discuss “an alliance between his son and her protégé”. Among other demands, he required Brienne's medical records, promotion prospects, and the feasibility of having a team of stylists sent out to Brienne pronto.

Without realising it, Brienne had welcomed a ruthless shark into her life.

And she-wolf she may be, Catelyn was not sure she could protect Brienne from his predatory jaws.

#

“I'm not dumping her,” were Jaime's first words on being ushered into his father's leather and velvet study, “I am not dumping Brienne,”

Tywin blinked, nearly looking surprised at Jaime's declaration. “I would not think of it,” he scoffed, “With Robert Baratheon out of office, Stark is headed straight for the Prime Minister's chair. Of course I would have preferred you with the eldest Stark girl, but then Catelyn Stark's over-protectiveness would in all probability outweigh the mutual benefits a partnership between our houses could bring.” Tywin nodded, “No, you chose well. Minister Stark apparently holds a great fondness for the Tarth girl, but I am sure with some persuasion she could be brought round to seeing sense,”

“I never got with Brienne to use her for her political connections,” Jaime spat in disgust.

“Of course you didn't,” Tywin sighed, “You never act practically,”

“I am not talking about this with anymore until I have spoken to Brienne and found out what she wants to do,” Jaime said, “How we move forward from this whole debacle will be up to us,”

“Well you can speak to her now,” Tywin informed him, “Because I have sent a limousine here and she should be arriving at any moment,”

#

Jaime had to be proud of Brienne. Blue eyes blazing and back straight, she swiftly cut through Tywin's bullshit.

“I have no intention in taking part in your schemes, Mr Lannister,” she said simply, “Such behaviour is is beneath me,”

Tywin coldly raised an eyebrow. “You talk of my 'schemes' with much contempt, and yet you yourself partake in them regularly,”

“What?” Jaime spluttered with laughter.

“Miss Tarth, you cannot say that you do not work hard to present yourself as an innocent do-gooder. With your open support for _free health-care_ and _benefits for the disadvantaged_ ,”

Brienne's forehead furrowed. “I do believe in free health-care and benefits for the disadvantaged,” she insisted.

Tywin sighed. “You mean to say you do all this truly out of _benevolence_?” he asked with distaste, “Well I cannot deny it is a blow, but Jaime is not getting any younger and I am prepared to overlook it. Of course I had hoped you could pass down some brains to my grandchildren. But if not then I will simply resign myself to taking care of their matters as I must now do with yours, as well as my son's,”

Brienne pursed her lips. “I have no need for you to take care of my matters,” she said firmly, “And neither does your son,”

“Mr Lannister,” a twitchy PA announced through the intercom, “It is Master Tyrion. He has been arrested again,”

Tywin folded his arms. “You were saying Miss Tarth?”

#

Tywin pinched the bridge of his nose as he sipped on is port. The television was playing the recaps from his son's engagement party from the night before. It had taken a great deal of persuasion, bribery and good old fashioned threats, but he had at long last managed to get a ring on Miss Tarth's finger and a date booked at the Great Sept of Baelor. So much of the evening had gone well. Tyrion and Cersei were both under watch from the Clegane brothers to ensure they did not exceed their alcohol consumption limit. Miss Tarth had been decked out and presented as an appropriate Lannister bride and there had been several good shots of Catelyn Stark and Tywin shaking hands.

Unfortunately, that was not all there were pictures off.

For all that Jaime and Miss Tarth feigned reluctance at their engagement, none could deny their ardour for each other. Once more, clandestine pictures of Jaime and Miss Tarth draped all over each other; this time in the second tier guests' bathroom, had been leaked to the press and were all over the news. Honestly, as much as Tywin wanted grandchildren even he drew the line somewhere.

So much for Miss Tarth's declaration that she and his son could managed their own affairs. It was clear that if the Lannister name was not to be sullied, Tywin would have his work cut out of him keeping Jaime and Miss Tarth from shaming the family completely.

Even if he had to have them fitted with shock collars and chastity belts to ensure it.

 


End file.
